


home again, favorite friend

by worry



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek (Comics)
Genre: F/F, Gay Bonding, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-14
Updated: 2017-04-14
Packaged: 2018-10-18 17:44:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10621923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/worry/pseuds/worry
Summary: He doesn’t know what this kind of friendship should constitute, but he imagines friendship being like his arm sling--holding him up, supporting him when he wants to fall down and shatter even more. Makes him feel like shattering is an okay thing to do, something that won’t disappoint his father even further. It’s almost—Certainly not a family. Which is why Shev doesn’t considerCadet Gonzalesa friend.(Spoiler alert: yeah, they're friends.)





	

**Author's Note:**

> I love these comics and I love Shev and Lucia. Please read Starfleet Academy. _Please_.

He doesn’t exactly consider Lucia a “friend”.

 

That kind of friendship, for him, is something entirely new, an entirely raw experience. A new depth, as Lucia would say, and he’s “in over his head”, effectively drowning in the water of the frightening beginning. It has always been strict, considering competency over empathy, usefulness over emotion, feelings discarded completely in favor of competition and victory. It was never an issue until the Centennial Competition, until T’Laan, until Lucia and Grace and Vel. They changed him. They _changed_ him.

 

Shev walked into this drowning water of change, kicking and screaming. Nails digging into skin, teeth clenched.

 

And yet: they burrowed their way into his life still. He doesn’t know what this kind of friendship should constitute, but he imagines friendship being like his arm sling--holding him up, supporting him when he wants to fall down and shatter even more. Makes him feel like shattering is an okay thing to do, something that won’t disappoint his father even further. It’s almost—

 

Certainly not a family. Which is why Shev doesn’t consider _Cadet Gonzales_ a friend.

 

She’s simply an individual who he eats lunch with every day, who he goes to campus parties with, who he spends most of his free time with. That’s all.

 

That’s _all._

 

But he does - _feel_ things, when she rambles into her turkey sandwich about how her day was, what stupid thing she learned in class today that she secretly already knew, the newest interesting text from Jaylah. Warmth? Can he call his feeling _warmth?_ If he knew what it was like—

 

Anyways. Today she has said absolutely nothing. Also, there’s no turkey sandwich. She’s eating a _salad._

 

Something is very, very wrong.

 

“Lucia,” he says calmly.

 

“Yeah?” she asks, and her voice is quiet, _quiet,_ cold-silent. “You feeling okay?”

 

“I was just about to ask you the same thing, actually.”

 

This elicits a laugh from her, which means that he is doing well. “I’m - okay, to be honest, not doing so great, but I don’t think you’d understand what’s upsetting me if I told you.”

 

Shev shrugs. “Try me.”

 

Lucia closes her eyes, squeezes them shut, and Shev can tell that it’s poking out of her mouth, the great big Upsetting Thing. He does want to help, in any way that he is capable of helping. He has never helped before. They _changed_ him.

 

“T’Laan isn’t talking to me.”

 

“Well, she’s a Vulcan. From what I’ve gathered, they don’t do well with small talk.”

 

“ _Shev._ ”

 

“It’s true, though.”

 

“Well,” she sighs. “This time it’s different, I can tell. I think she’s… mad at me.”

 

Shev taps his fingers on the table. “I doubt that’s the case.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because… why would she be mad at you? Did you do something wrong or is this just crazy paranoia? Since I can’t really imagine you doing anything wrong, ever.”

 

Lucia smiles. “Shev, that sounded almost nice. In fact, I think that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

 

“Oh, please,” he says, but smiles anyway, smile fighting its way onto his face, tooth and nail again. “Don’t get used to it. I’m not lovey-dovey.”

 

“You are around Vel.”

 

Seriously?

 

“Hold on, I-I’m _not --_ what are you suggesting? You are _not_ saying what I think you're saying, right?”

 

“Someone,” she says, sing-song, “ _someone’s_ got a crush.”

 

“I’m not a _kid_ , Lucia. I just enjoy being around him and that’s all.”

 

“People on different _planets_ can see how much you like him.”

 

He sighs. Gives in. What else is he supposed to do? If he denies any further, he will look even _more_ embarrassing. He promised himself he would _never_ look anything resembling embarrassing, and that promise still stands, will stand forever.

 

“Am I really that obvious?”

 

“Yeah, kinda.”

 

“I think you should talk to her,” he says. “Everyone says that communication is important, and all that.”

 

Lucia smiles. “She’s the prettiest, most _wonderful_ girl I’ve ever met. Grace agrees. She thinks I really have a chance with T’Laan, but I don’t know. I just don’t want to mess things up.”

 

“I don’t think you will,” Shev replies. “Just tell her how you feel. She’ll tell you why she hasn’t been in a talking mood lately because, again, Vulcan. And - I agree with Grace. I think she likes you, too.”

 

“You do?”

 

“I think liking someone probably scares her, so that might be why she's been weird lately. I can spot that kind of feeling in anyone, you know.”

 

Lucia sets her fork down, slams her hands on the table. “You know what? You’re right. I’m gonna - I’m going to go tell her.”

 

She stands up, and for a moment he thinks she’s going to run from him, right to T’Laan, right out there leaving him _embarrassed._

 

Instead, however: she throws her arms around him. “You’re a great friend, Shev.”

 

So he closes his eyes, touches her forearm. Maybe this is warmth. Maybe this is exactly where he’s supposed to be. Maybe none of it is embarrassing, and maybe none of that matters now that he has something in his life that isn’t his father and competition.

 

“Yeah,” he replies. “You’re a good friend, too.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Again: please read these comics. Also, I love Star Trek but also I'm not well-versed in the lore or background etc of it, so forgive me if I got something wrong. :)


End file.
